Part 4: In which we talk about limits

Chapter 4 - In which we talk about limits



I learned English by playing video-games.



When I was a kid my father bought me a Portuguese-to-English dictionary, taught me 'the', 'he', 'she' and that the word 'banana' is the same, and then it was just me and the dictionary.



That's probably why my English gets weird at times.



I also use a lot of "Yo"s.





Seriously what can I say? It's just Barret bullying the poor manager.



Now you're just being racist.



You know that TV actress Morena Baccarin, who did Anna in V?



Morena literally means "brunette", although nowadays it's almost always used to refer to people with any type of dark skin color.



Why would they say there will be more bombings? And when did they do that? There was barely a day of rest.

Also isn't that guy a manager? Why is he going "to Midgar"? I'd imagine he already lives in Midgar. So many questions.



Funny thing is that morena used to refer to (usually white) people with dark hair, there were other words for dark-skinned people.

This is because these other words were deemed pejorative so people started calling them morenos using the dark hair as the guideline.



Find a happy place, find a happy place, find a happy place.



Viewer's Participation - What do you think he's saying?



It's also worth noting that "white" doesn't mean caucasian in Brazil. Anyone with pale skin can be called white.



Our definition of "pale" is also much more lenient, while people here think I'm milky white I've seen americans calling me brown.



People who are in-between dark and pale are called pardos. It's not common but I've seen some people consider being called a pardo bad, they'd much rather be called white or black.



You know, I always felt that Shinra was just letting them do their own thing like they don't care.



What is it with Midgar chicks and that monitor? Is that the hip way to flirt with guys?



There was once this girl who was flirting me. She said she loved unwashed, dirty samurais.



She then told me that I looked like a Samurai



You see, I'm half-Japanese and that was her way of flirting with me.



I think I showered 5 times a day every day in the following weeks.



And no I don't own a Katana.



No shit, Jessie.



I like to imagine that Cloud is sitting there thinking "God damn how can these guys be so incompetent?"







You get a timer to move to the next car. It's enough time to talk to the guy on the back who's so impressed with us he gives us a Phoenix Down, despite the fact that a Phoenix Down could probably pay a rent for him in an ok place for months.





Another expensive item. Why would you give these things to these people running like crazy during an intruder alarm? Then again I suppose it makes sense, you're just scared they'll kill you if you don't give them your hi-potions.

By the way a Hi-Potion is a potion that heals 500 points instead of 100.





Some asshole takes the opportunity to rob us in the next car but he ain't takin' no shit from us.



Naturally it only makes sense Johnny would be in the same train as us.







I guess... not.



Look at that mustache.



So these guys are probably some of Barret's insiders and one of them betrayed him.



Sure, if you ignore the fact something blew off your cover and the whole city already knows you're planning to blow off another reactor and the security dept. knows now which reactor, then I suppose everything's going great.

If you get caught by the timer you have to jump off earlier. The whole place is a series of tunnels exactly like this one.

This is also the point where the enemies start to become slightly less mind-numbingly easy.



Sakaguchi must love Star Wars.



You see, this is a very carefully elaborate euphemism for anal sex.



Ethers restore MP, but spells cost is so negligent that I'll be also selling those.



Flying seahorses.



Truth be told putting Lightning-All in Barret's armgun is an accident waiting to happen.



This is one of the most awesome places in the game, you're basically standing in floating platforms between the reactor and the city 50 meters/15 feet below.



Sometimes I feel like making a late 90's J-RPG style game. I wonder if there would be a public for that. I also wonder how long it would take to make.



The backgrounds could be like the ones in Tales of Monkey Island.



Or would you guys prefer pre-rendered backgrounds for maximum retro?



Also, native resolution of 320*240 or 640*480?



Fuck you seahorses, you guys pissed me off in Sonic 2.



We're leveling up more than I wanted to.



A Save-Point, and that item on the ground is a tent.



So what was their job exactly? How did they arrive here before us? And why?



The reactor map is the same, but under a different color scheme. There are other subtle changes too.



Weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee.



That tube for example isn't broke. The place is a little more clean.



The enemies are weird, you basically have these green clock-robots and red panthers walking around a reactor.



Seriously haven't they realized how dangerous it is to hire a psychotic guy who's worked for your enemies to plant bombs?



Holy crap, flashback... maybe?









Tifa then grabs the giant sword on the ground and runs off. Truth be told, that scene is chilling the first time you see because you're really not expecting any of that.



Well, we plant the damn bomb and surprisingly, nothing comes out. You know, that's a bit suspicious. We go back, nothing really exciting happens on the way.



In case you haven't realized that's the first screen of the first reactor rotated 180 degrees.



This is one of the stupidest security devices I've ever seen, but on the other hand it's so stupid no one would guess that that's the correct procedure.



A Save Point just before the exit hmm WHAT COULD THIS MEAN?



It means getting all of our limits ready, that's what it means.



I think this scene could use some depth-of-field.

Luckily for you I just made this fantastic program called Next-Genifier which automatically turns any old game in a next-gen product ready for the newest platforms:



I think this is obviously the vision that the developers intended but lacked technology in the 90's etc.



Oh crap.



That's right folks, no one saw it coming.







Cloud: "Long time no see."

President Shinra: "...Long time no see? Oh... you."

President Shinra: "You're the one who quit SOLDIER and joined AVALANCHE. Tell me, traitor... what was your name?"



President Shinra: "Unless you become another Sephiroth."

President Shinra: "Yes, Sephiroth... He was brilliant. Perhaps too brilliant..."







Barret argues like a WoW Player.



President Shinra: "But I've made arrangements for a playmate for you all."





Hell yes BOSS FIGHT!!







Look I'm gonna be honest with you, Air Buster is the biggest joke in the game. As far as fights go, Air Buster is the lowest point. Luckily it can only go up from here.



Here's a bit of a cool info: Enemies take more damage from behind, but that damage multiplier isn't fixed. Usually they take 2x more, but in the case of Air Buster they changed his attributes so that he takes 5x.

Because of that, the fact there's ALWAYS someone behind him (We're surrounding him after all) and the fact he has just 1200 HP, Air Buster is pretty much the easiest boss in the game.

Naturally there's only one real way to kill him like a pro:



Grenades are just so good, so fun and so underused. They also fit the theme of the gang.

But seriously now, I'm not gonna waste my grenades on him. That was just to show off the boss fight and the bunch of useless crap he does so you guys can have a nice grasp of what you're (not) missing.

We're gonna screw him up real good.



That was fun, but that's not what I'm talking about. Air Buster manages to damage me with his counter and this is preposterous.

"But Elentor", you say, "What else can you do? You're already two-shotting him in one turn, but he'll counter you and hurt you anyway. That's it, that's the best you can do."

Oh ye of little faith.



Hahahahahaha now we're talking.

You see, most limits are pretty simple. They're just your normal attacks dealing non-elemental damage and maximum hit chance, but with a damage multiplier on top. Big Shot deals 3.25x the normal damage Barret would.

But Limit Breaks can also perform criticals. And every multiplier in the game stack. Now remember that I said Air Buster takes 5 times the damage from behind? So with simple math, (5)*(2) = (10) which means a critical to his back will do 10 times damage, or in this case, 32.5 times the damage a normal attack would.

And you always start with the bar full because you're ambushing him, and Barret has always the first action, and Barret is always behind him. The result is that Air Buster is the only boss that you can accidentally one-shot in the game, even if you didn't do any grind whatsoever.

BOSSES WHO'VE MANAGED TO EXECUTE THEIR GIMMICK BEFORE WE KILL THEM SO FAR: 0/2



What the



We beat him so hard that his explosion blew up the place.



WELL THANK YOU BARRET.



"Nope, not a damn thing."

Of course he can't, if Cloud dies he doesn't need to pay his money.



I dunno Tifa, things are looking pretty grim right now.



Of course I'll be, what is that, a 150 feet fall?



Yeah man I'm just like gonna die.












Well that was a sad death. Also: CLIFFHANGERS

AVALANCHE 2 x SHINRA 1


NEXT TIME:

A new protagonist! Materia! Love Interests! Naming conventions!


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